Since I’m one of the unfortunates that have to take a bus to school everyday unless my father generously offers to give me a lift, I’ve certainly picked up certain behaviors that i find rather annoying amusing.
And so, Here’s a few tips for all of you.
Note: All this tips will work extremely well in a packed bus!
#1 Squeeze your way through rugby style!
Be seated at the bustop and eye the bus you want to board. When it arrives, let your fellow victims queue themselves in front of the entrance of the bus. This is crucial if you want to maximize annoyance. Just when the entrance door opens, push your way through (ruby style!) to the front. Elbow jab, arms fats pushing, hip pushing, whatever you can just do it! Sneer at their accusing looks but “Tsk!” loudly if anyone dares pushes you back.
Annoyance level: **
#2 Camp at the front of the bus!
The perfect place for this tip is the space between the 2nd double seat of the bus and the 2nd double seat behind the bus driver. Stand there while your little victims pack themselves like tuna in the front of the bus! However, do note that there might be victims whom will try to squeeze pass you. Fret not! Instead, give them the glare while you “TSK!!” loudly when they knock into you. Ignore glares and comments that asks you to move in, instead, take out your latest ipod nano and stick the earphones into your ear. Blast the music and enjoy the killers glares.
Annoyance level: ****
#3. Flick your hair!
If you have long hair, all the better! Tie it up in a high ponytail and stand as close to anyone as you can. If possible, find victims that are wearing sleeveless. Annoyance level will definitely increase. Victims with long sleeves will not be able to feel the full impact of your dry, brittle and prickings of your damage hair! When your position is secured, turn your head right and left! Ignore your victims blatant stare, instead, flick even more! Show off your long and hairy weapon!
Annonyance level: ***
#4. Take up double seats!
If you’re able to find empty double seats, take them! In fact, take both of them! One for you, one for your bag! See? Just nice. Promptly pretend to fall asleep if you’re feeling a little less courageous. What? Your bag deserves the right to have a seat just like any one of your staring victims. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong at all!
Annoyance level: **
#5 Pillow Bag fight!
Always carry a big and bulky bag when you board a pack bus. Firstly, let it swing freely while you’re pushing your way through the bus. Just let it hit and bang every victim that happened to be seated beside you. This is exceptionally effective if the contents of your bag is heavy and have pointed corners. Secondly, when you secure a position, look out for a nearest victim that is right beside you. Now you have two choices. One is to let the corners of your bag occasionally jab into your victim’s sides or Two, let your bag push your little victim aside so that you have more space. Pretend to be enjoying the view around when evil glares is subjected to your direction.
Annoyance level: ***
#6 Let’s play some music!
Have that favorite song that you just can’t stop listening to? Even hearing it 45 times in an hour is okay with you? Great! With your sophisticated taste, everyone must love it too! Therefore, play it on your handphone (No ear phone needed!) and repeat it for the entire journey. Before you know, the whole bus of victims will have memorized the entire lyrics of the song! Isn’t it perfect? If you’re feeling timid, put on earphones than. But remember to blast it so loud that the victims around are able to hear the song loud and clear.
Annoyance level: **
#7. Squeeze your way to the door 5 mins before the bus reaches your stop!
This might get a little tricky. Make sure you choose the perfect timing when everyone is packed at the alighting exit of the bus. If such opportunity arises, grab it! 5 to 10 minutes before your stop, make your way to the exit. Make sure you push your way through! Do not hesitate and allow your fellow victims to steady themselves while they free their hand to let you pass. When you have successfully done so, stand in front of the exit to let them sulk behind your back. So what if they lost their balance? Your stop is reaching you know! Anyway, Come on, don’t tell me they can’t even balance themselves in a moving bus with someone practically breathing down their necks? It can’t be that difficult, I’m sure they can squeeze a little for you. No problem!
Annoyance level: ***
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So far, that’s about all. So what’s your favourite tactic of torturing victims on the bus? Share!
If you have no experience at all, what’s are you doing? Start annoying others today!
